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Two and a Half Men

TV-14

2003

30 min

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.

Type:TV

Country:United States

Genre:Comedy , Romance

Release:Sep 20, 2003

Director:N/A

Production:Chuck Lorre Productions , The Tannenbaum Company , Warner Bros. Television

Cast:Angus T. Jones , Ashton Kutcher , Jon Cryer

Episode 16: Of Course He's Dead - Part Two

Episode 15: Of Course He's Dead - Part One

Episode 14: Don't Give a Monkey a Gun

Episode 13: Boompa Loved His Hookers

Episode 12: A Beer-Battered Rip-Off

Episode 11: For Whom the Booty Calls

Episode 10: Here I Come, Pants!

Episode 9: Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey

Episode 8: Family, Bublé, Deep-fried Turkey

Episode 7: Sex With an Animated Ed Asner

Episode 6: Alan Shot a Little Girl

Episode 5: Oontz Oontz Oontz

Episode 4: Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight

Episode 3: Glamping in a Yurt

Episode 2: A Chic Bar in Ibiza

Episode 1: The Ol' Mexican Spinach

Episode 22: Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead

Episode 21: Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot

Episode 20: Lotta Delis in Little Armenia

Episode 19: Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang

Episode 18: West Side Story

Episode 17: Welcome Home, Jake

Episode 16: How to Get Rid of Alan Harper

Episode 15: Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin

Episode 14: Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe

Episode 13: Bite Me, Supreme Court

Episode 12: Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.

Episode 11: Tazed In The Lady Nuts

Episode 10: On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!

Episode 9: Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer

Episode 8: Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room

Episode 7: Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie

Episode 6: Justice In Star-Spangled Hot Pants

Episode 5: Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003

Episode 4: Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank

Episode 3: This Unblessed Biscuit

Episode 2: I Think I Banged Lucille Ball

Episode 1: Nangnangnangnang

Episode 23: Cows, Prepare To Be Tipped

Episode 22: My Bodacious Vidalia

Episode 21: Another Night With Neil Diamond

Episode 20: Bazinga! That's From A TV Show

Episode 19: Big Episode. Someone Stole A Spoon

Episode 18: The 9:04 From Pemberton

Episode 17: Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries

Episode 16: Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby

Episode 15: Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It

Episode 14: Run, Steven Staven! Run!

Episode 13: Grab A Feather And Get In Line

Episode 12: Welcome to Alancrest

Episode 11: Give Santa A Tail-Hole

Episode 10: One Nut Johnson

Episode 9: I Scream When I Pee

Episode 8: Something My Gynecologist Said

Episode 7: Avoid the Chinese Mustard

Episode 6: Ferrets, Attack!

Episode 5: That's Not What They Call It In Amsterdam

Episode 4: You Do Know What The Lollipop Is For

Episode 3: Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt

Episode 2: A Big Bag of Dog

Episode 1: I Changed My Mind About the Milk

Episode 24: Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!

Episode 23: The Straw In My Donut Hole

Episode 22: Why We Gave Up Women

Episode 21: Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'

Episode 20: Grandma's Pie

Episode 19: Palmdale, Ech

Episode 18: The War Against Gingivitis

Episode 17: Not In My Mouth

Episode 16: Sips, Sonnets And Sodomy

Episode 15: The Duchess of Dull-In-Sack

Episode 14: A Possum on Chemo

Episode 13: Slowly and in a Circular Fashion

Episode 12: One False Move, Zimbabwe!

Episode 11: What a Lovely Landing Strip

Episode 10: A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes

Episode 9: Frodo's Headshots

Episode 8: Thank You For The Intercourse

Episode 7: Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

Episode 6: The Squat and The Hover

Episode 5: A Giant Cat Holding a Churro

Episode 4: Nine Magic Fingers

Episode 3: Big Girls Don't Throw Food

Episode 2: People Who Love Peepholes (2)

Episode 1: Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt (1)

Episode 16: That Darn Priest

Episode 15: Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak

Episode 14: Lookin' for Japanese Subs

Episode 13: Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup

Episode 12: Chocolate Diddlers Or My Puppy's Dead

Episode 11: Dead From The Waist Down

Episode 10: Ow, Ow, Don't Stop

Episode 9: A Good Time in Central Africa

Episode 8: Springtime On A Stick

Episode 7: The Crazy Bitch Gazette

Episode 6: Twanging Your Magic Clanger

Episode 5: The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel

Episode 4: Hookers, Hookers, Hookers

Episode 3: A Pudding-Filled Cactus

Episode 2: A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer

Episode 1: Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud

Episode 22: This Is Not Gonna End Well

Episode 21: Gumby with a Pokey

Episode 20: I Called Him Magoo

Episode 19: Keith Moon is Vomiting in his Grave

Episode 18: Ixnay on the Oggie Day

Episode 17: I Found Your Mustache

Episode 16: Tinkle Like a Princess

Episode 15: Aye, Aye, Captain

Episode 14: Crude and Uncalled For

Episode 13: Yay, No Polyps!

Episode 12: Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

Episode 11: Warning, It's Dirty

Episode 10: That's Why They Call It Ball Room

Episode 9: Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

Episode 8: Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

Episode 7: Untainted by Filth

Episode 6: Give Me Your Thumb

Episode 5: For the Sake of the Child

Episode 4: Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

Episode 3: Mmm, fish. Yum.

Episode 2: Whipped Unto the Third Generation

Episode 1: 818-jklpuzo

Episode 24: Baseball with Better Steroids

Episode 23: Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth

Episode 22: Sir Lancelot's Litter Box

Episode 21: Above Exalted Cyclops

Episode 20: Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau

Episode 19: The Two Finger Rule

Episode 18: My Son's Enormous Head

Episode 17: The 'Ocu' Or The 'Pado'?

Episode 16: She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime

Episode 15: I'd Like to Start With the Cat

Episode 14: David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie

Episode 13: I Think You Offended Don

Episode 12: Thank God for Scoliosis

Episode 11: The Devil's Lube

Episode 10: He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited

Episode 9: The Mooch At The Boo

Episode 8: Pinocchio's Mouth

Episode 7: Best H.O. Money Can Buy

Episode 6: It's Always Nazi Week

Episode 5: A Jock Strap In Hell

Episode 4: The Flavin' and the Mavin'

Episode 3: Damn You, Eggs Benedict

Episode 2: Pie Hole, Herb

Episode 1: Taterhead Is Our Love Child

Episode 19: Waiting for the Right Snapper

Episode 18: If My Hole Could Talk

Episode 17: Fish in a Drawer

Episode 16: Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty

Episode 15: Rough Night in Hump Junction

Episode 14: Winky-Dink Time

Episode 13: The Soil is Moist

Episode 12: A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh

Episode 11: Meander To Your Dander

Episode 10: Kinda Like Necrophilia

Episode 9: Tight's Good

Episode 8: Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

Episode 7: The Leather Gear Is In The Guest Room

Episode 6: Help Daddy Find His Toenail

Episode 5: Putting Swim Fins on a Cat

Episode 4: City of Great Racks

Episode 3: Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

Episode 2: Media Room Slash Dungeon

Episode 1: Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

Episode 24: Prostitutes and Gelato

Episode 23: Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin

Episode 22: Mr. McGlue's Feedbag

Episode 21: Tucked, Taped & Gorgeous

Episode 20: Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot (2)

Episode 19: Smooth as a Ken Doll (1)

Episode 18: It Never Rains in Hooterville

Episode 17: I Merely Slept with a Commie

Episode 16: Young People Have Phlegm Too

Episode 15: My Damn Stalker

Episode 14: That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami

Episode 13: Don't Worry, Speed Racer

Episode 12: Castrating Sheep in Montana

Episode 11: Walnuts and Demerol

Episode 10: Kissing Abraham Lincoln

Episode 9: Corey's Been Dead for an Hour

Episode 8: Release the Dogs

Episode 7: Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head

Episode 6: Apologies for the Frivolity

Episode 5: A Live Woman of Proven Fertility

Episode 4: A Pot Smoking Monkey

Episode 3: The Sea is a Harsh Mistress

Episode 2: Who's Vod Kanockers

Episode 1: Working for Caligula

Episode 24: That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

Episode 23: Arguments for the Quickie

Episode 22: Just Once With Aunt Sophie

Episode 21: And the Plot Moistens

Episode 20: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

Episode 19: Golly Moses, She's A Muffin

Episode 18: The Spit-Covered Cobbler

Episode 17: The Unfortunate Little Schnauser

Episode 16: Ergo, The Booty Call

Episode 15: My Tongue is Meat

Episode 14: Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded

Episode 13: Humiliation is a Visual Medium

Episode 12: That Special Tug

Episode 11: Santa's Village of the Damned

Episode 10: Something Salted and Twisted

Episode 9: Madame and Her Special Friend

Episode 8: That Voodoo That I Do Do

Episode 7: Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

Episode 6: Hi, Mr. Horned One

Episode 5: We Called It Mr. Pinky

Episode 4: Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs

Episode 3: Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

Episode 2: Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

Episode 1: Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts

Episode 24: Does This Smell Funny to You?

Episode 23: Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

Episode 22: That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother

Episode 21: A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On

Episode 20: I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey

Episode 19: A Low, Gutteral Tongue-Flapping Noise

Episode 18: It Was Mame, Mom

Episode 17: Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam!

Episode 16: Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?

Episode 15: Smell the Umbrella Stand

Episode 14: Those Big Pink Things with Coconut

Episode 13: Zejdz z Moich Wlosów a.k.a. Get Off My Hair

Episode 12: A Lungful of Alan

Episode 11: Last Chance to See Those Tattoos

Episode 10: The Salmon Under My Sweater

Episode 9: Yes, Monsignor

Episode 8: Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers

Episode 7: A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana

Episode 6: The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance

Episode 5: Bad News from the Clinic

Episode 4: Go Get Mommy's Bra

Episode 3: A Bag Full of Jawea

Episode 2: Enjoy Those Garlic Balls

Episode 1: Back Off Mary Poppins

Episode 24: Can You Feel My Finger?

Episode 23: Just Like Buffalo

Episode 22: My Doctor has a Cow Puppet

Episode 21: No Sniffing, No Wowing

Episode 20: Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

Episode 19: I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

Episode 18: An Old Flame With a New Wick

Episode 17: Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats

Episode 16: That Was Saliva, Alan (2)

Episode 15: Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick (1)

Episode 14: I Can't Afford Hyenas

Episode 13: Sarah Like Puny Alan

Episode 12: Camel Filters + Pheromones

Episode 11: Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

Episode 10: Merry Thanksgiving

Episode 9: Phase One, Complete

Episode 8: Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful

Episode 7: If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

Episode 6: Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

Episode 5: The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump

Episode 4: If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap

Episode 3: Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

Episode 2: Big Flappy Bastards

Episode 1: Pilot

Two and a Half Men

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